In our house, there is a snug little corner away from the television where, often on a Friday or Saturday night, the five of us would sit either with snacks or the traditional “fish and chips” takeaway meal and just chat about life. Along with our late nights around a campfire whilst on holidays, these family conversations are some of our treasured memories of our three boys growing up.
These conversations were on wide-ranging topics, including politics and religion, as well as personal issues arising from school, relationships, and life issues. As parents, we valued these open and honest conversations, and found them important in encouraging our three boys to be true to themselves.
It was not until university that one of the twins came out as gay. It was not entirely a surprise to us, but it was still a major step for him to acknowledge it in himself, and a significant step to come out to his parents.
When the other of the twins “came out”, he was traveling in Europe after a student exchange in Ireland. He telephoned to say that he had a bad case of tonsillitis after ‘kissing a guy.’ This time of traveling alone was an opportunity, away from his twin brother, to think about his own sexuality, and his own realisation that he was gay came quite suddenly.
We are supportive parents, and want the best for our children. One of our sons has a long-term partner, a delightful young man. The other, the first to come out, has had some anxious times with relationships, but is showing resilience and growth through the struggles. They are now both well-educated people making significant contributions through their professional and personal lives.
The heart of our Christian faith is the compassionate and loving God, as shown in the person of Jesus, and that for us means having an inclusive and generous heart that is open to all. We are also aware that our faith is rooted in a particular concern for those on the margins.
Although we are supportive parents, that does not guarantee self-acceptance. Sometimes even with a supportive family, a gay person will still struggle with their own sexual identity, for whatever reason. However, there is no doubt that our acceptance has helped our two gay sons to be more accepting of themselves in the process of discovering their sexuality.
Part of that has come about from those early conversations in the snug corner of our house, or around those campfires, as we talked about the important things, and the trivial things, that help us to belong together as a family.
Open House 