The snug corner away from the television…

In our house, there is a snug little corner away from the television where, often on a Friday or Saturday night, the five of us would sit either with snacks or the traditional “fish and chips” takeaway meal and just chat about life. Along with our late nights around a campfire whilst on holidays, these family conversations are some of our treasured memories of our three boys growing up.

These conversations were on wide-ranging topics, including politics and religion, as well as personal issues arising from school, relationships, and life issues. As parents, we valued these open and honest conversations, and found them important in encouraging our three boys to be true to themselves.

It was not until university that one of the twins came out as gay. It was not entirely a surprise to us, but it was still a major step for him to acknowledge it in himself, and a significant step to come out to his parents.

When the other of the twins “came out”, he was traveling in Europe after a student exchange in Ireland. He telephoned to say that he had a bad case of tonsillitis after ‘kissing a guy.’  This time of traveling alone was an opportunity, away from his twin brother, to think about his own sexuality, and his own realisation that he was gay came quite suddenly.

We are supportive parents, and want the best for our children. One of our sons has a long-term partner, a delightful young man. The other, the first to come out, has had some anxious times with relationships, but is showing resilience and growth through the struggles. They are now both well-educated people making significant contributions through their professional and personal lives.

The heart of our Christian faith is the compassionate and loving God, as shown in the person of Jesus, and that for us means having an inclusive and generous heart that is open to all. We are also aware that our faith is rooted in a particular concern for those on the margins.

Although we are supportive parents, that does not guarantee self-acceptance. Sometimes even with a supportive family, a gay person will still struggle with their own sexual identity, for whatever reason. However, there is no doubt that our acceptance has helped our two gay sons to be more accepting of themselves in the process of discovering their sexuality.

Part of that has come about from those early conversations in the snug corner of our house, or around those campfires, as we talked about the important things, and the trivial things, that help us to belong together as a family.

 

Charles Gallacher and Kerrie Lingham are married and proud parents of three adult children. They are both ordained ministers in the Uniting Church in Australia, and share a ministry placement in Queenscliff, on the southern coast of Victoria, Australia.

Somewhere, somehow we all have been hurt…

If your heart has courage to hate, then it has an equal courage to love as well.

Hatred and love are like two sides of a coin. We all have a light and dark inside us, but what matters is the part we choose to act upon – that’s who we really are.

For all of us, every day is a choice between the right and the wrong, or one or the other. We all are in a constant struggle – an identity crisis. We struggle every passing moment with the given identity of culture, religion and race. At times we are privileged because of this identity whereas at other times we are discriminated against.

It is a tough task to phrase all my experiences and thoughts into few words, because I’ve listened to many friends of mine from North, East, South and so on. They all have got painful histories regardless to which community they belong – but that one thing I noticed, they all have in common is grief. I believe, grief of one community is not inferior to another. This is the reason, I want everyone to understand that our stories are similar in one way or another – even though our stories are different our pain is mutual.

A child born today will soon learn about the 30 year old brutal civil war in Sri Lanka. He will learn the story from either a defeated or victorious side, not knowing that in a war we all are losers. He will be told that one was right and the other was wrong, and will be taught to choose a side. This history will then be embedded into his identity and personality. Hatred will be passed from one generation to another, continuing something immoral in our society. Thereby, we inherit our identity rather than building one.

For most of us, race, religion and culture are elements of the identity which were given to us; but at the end of the day we fight for this identity which was not even our choice in the first place.

Since 1948, for 68 years how many years have we had a real independence? Out of 68 years, we have fought with each other for over 40 years. We have had a civil war, JVP insurrection, Bodu Bala Sena and various other unrest situations. Our fights take different forms, but they go on and on. Being a Sinhalese-Buddhist woman I feel, it is important that Sinhalese get involved in the reconciliation process as they are the larger ethnic proportion. Also, it is important that Buddhists get involved in bringing in social justice, and women get involved in bringing in social equity.

If you ask me what is the most beautiful thing about Sri Lanka; I would say it is our amazing Diversity. Sri Lankan culture is rich with diverse food, clothes, festivals, communities, race and religions. The question is what we are going to do with this diversity? Buddhists, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sinhalese, Tamils, Burghers, should not just ‘tolerate’ each other, but should be ‘accept’ each other. We should be respectfully celebrating our rich diversity that makes us all proud Sri Lankans.

I feel that our culture has been so embedded within the religion, that as a result we sometimes ignore the realities, inevitably excluding some people. We Sri Lankans should divert ourselves to build an inclusive society where, we all are accepted for who we are. We all love kawum and kokis, buriyani and watalappam, thosey and wadey, and milk wine and Burgher nap. Just as much as we like those things from other communities, we must love its people too.

What we need to understand is that; war left not only Sinhalese widows in the South, but Tamil and Muslim widows in the North. We have not only Tamil orphans from war but also Sinhalese and Muslim orphans. The war hurt those who left the country as just as much as it hurt those who stood back in the country. All our divisions are manmade and delusional.

As a Sinhalese-Buddhist representing the religious and ethnic majority of Sri Lanka, I believe it is the majority’s responsibility to stand up for minority rights – just so that, one day we can get rid of these concepts of ‘majority’ and ‘minority’, where we are able to think of one human race, and have faith in humanity.

It only takes courage to apologize to a person outside your religion and race; and we must have the courage to do so, because during the process somewhere, somehow we all have been hurt.

Presented by Thevuni Kotigala, at Sri Lankan Harmony Day 2016, Melbourne on 6th March 2016 at Mulgrave Community Centre. Harmony Day pave the way for Sri Lankans living in Australia to meet and form links beyond religious, ethnic, political, cultural and other divides.

Thevuni Kotigala is a 23 year old Sinhalese Buddhist, who is an undergraduate of University of Sri Jayawardenepura. Her passion is on serving the world, and she believes in peace and reconciliation.

And then He created ‘Man and Woman’

Ashamed,
Like a volcanic eruption they fall,
Thick, black, foul, venomous air in the horizon
Mammoth tower fallen
Silence,
Is this what I believe in?
Most Gracious!
Most Merciful!
Not paranoia!
Not murder!
Not self-righteousness
Naked,
Feeling exposed to thoughts and visions
Beliefs and People
Insecurity –
Then Acceptance,
Acceptance –
To Honour,
Honour –
To Love,
‘Love thy neighbour’ Quote,
Some don’t get it
Belief is Funny-company
Some Run,
Some Hide
I love
I believe.

~M. Ramzi Zaindeen

Presented by M. Ramzi Zaindeen, at ‘Breaking the Golden’ Rule Open Mic Night, on 23rd January 2016, at Lentil as Anything, Footscray, Melbourne.

The Keeper of Order

It is my belief and an obvious fact that ‘order’ is the key for the existence of anything at all. In the same way it is a necessity for human existence and the continuance of the world that ‘order’…

Source: The Keeper of Order

Religion: A way to better life, or way to chaos?

I was born with the religion ‘Buddhism’ labeled on to me. I was not a person who got the opportunity to choose what I should believe in, but it was a default decision made for me by my parents. But, I’m grateful that I got the opportunity to learn about the way of Buddha, and his teachings with his ideas on what is wrong and what is right.

For years, since I have been able to think for myself and make my own decisions, I followed what I was taught. I didn’t know back then if I had enough knowledge to question what I get to hear, and I didn’t know whether I was right or wrong. But what I’m grateful about being a born Buddhist, is that I got the mental stability and clarity to question each decision. I got to clear my doubts and I got to reject if I was not too convinced; yet if there were consequences for neglecting, I would be in a state of mind to face them.

My studies in high school were based on natural sciences and mathematics, where some people consider it to be the most righteous way to adjust lives accordingly. Yet, people from all religions and ways of life experiences the brutality of trying to find the absolute truth in everything. Which I think is the question; ‘What is absolute truth?’

Every religion has common as well as widely different definitions, to say what is right from wrong for different subject matters. Most of them have basic common ground rules to follow if we want to follow the path of the defined righteousness of a specific religion. For example, one religion might say that you are not ought to kill any living beings, while another say you are allowed to kill animals if it’s to satisfy the basic human need such as hunger or starvation. That choice for many people is based on what they choose to believe in when they are born to this world. But that decision, fortunately or unfortunately, is not something that person makes with rational justification therefore the question remains; what is truth? So, sometimes you find people blindly follow something to the extreme ends not knowing if it is the real truth or not; yet choose to believe in it anyway. I would not be a judge of that.

In my opinion, this truth is different from one religion to another. What would be accepted by some people would be unaccepted by the others. Therefore some situations bring about conflicting situations through misunderstandings. But one must question before taking any actions as to; who are we to question another person’s belief, and who are we to say this is the real truth. Is it really worth it, to put humanity in jeopardy to protect something not knowing if it’s the absolute truth? Do we honestly have the right to say if Buddhism, Christianity, Muslim, Hindu, Atheism or whichever the religion or way of life is the one true way of life?

We are born with a brain to think and feel. Therefore, I firmly believe that moderates should stand up against anything that promotes conscious discomfort to another, from the way we practice our beliefs. If there’s a difference of opinion what should be done as human beings is to discuss and understand without fighting over it.

My opinion over religion; although I question everyone’s beliefs as to why they would, that is only for my personal evaluation. I believe that religion is an essential part for a growing mind since it gives (although I’m not 100% correct) some ideas on what life is and to value another human being. Without such guidance the world could be in chaos, the law and judiciary system will not be able to find a proper base to rectify actions done by another human being. People come out to the world with no clue but only wanting to seek the truth. Therefore, a child, who comes to learn a specific religion, should learn to respect another person’s belief while they respect what they learn, and be able to learn from other religions as well.

The best example I would have is on my beliefs. As a person who dedicated many years to study natural sciences, I used to always have a different mindset and a disregard for people who would mention about Gods, and their divine powers. However, I had an interesting conversation with my girlfriend who is a Roman Catholic, where she explained the concept of considering God as energy. Her point was, what if there is a certain thing called positive and negative energy which relates to the action one does? What if God is this energy where positive energy will circulate to give a positive impact and negative energy gives negative spirits? Although my idea on God is different, I respect those who believe in it hoping that they do so not just blindly, but with a believable reason.

For my brothers and sisters who have been reading this up to now, I have only one simple humble request. Whether to act upon on it or to neglect is solely the reader’s decision. I’m not concluding as to which religion or way of life is the best, because it’s always someone’s opinion. Therefore, my request is; be grateful to the religion you were born with for all the good things you’ve learnt from it, but be open minded enough to know that for all religions people follow it with a reason, so find that reason, take the good things you can take in to your life no matter what that religion is, and be respectful to other’s beliefs. Whatever you choose to do, don’t forget that despite all the differences in beliefs there’s one thing we all have in common; which is being a human. So embrace it, spread the love through humanity, and find your real truth. Don’t let religion; the spiritual experience that gives peace, be a factor to cause violence.

Thilanka Liyanage is a 21 year old Sinhalese, Theravada Buddhist. He is an undergraduate of University of Colombo, in Faculty of Science and he is also an undergraduate of Institution of Engineers, Sri Lanka College of Engineering.

After all, any God is a good God!

My Religion means a way of life to me. It has taught me a way of fair and just lifestyle through its teachings. Since I’ve been born to a Buddhist family, I had no choice but to learn the religion I was supposed to learn by default. But, it has taught me a great lot to live a good life. Buddhism, in my opinion is a philosophy; the essence containing simple and practical ways of living a balanced life. To understand the depth of Buddhism, you need a lot of patience. I personally have not looked into seeking the depths of my religion, because whatever I have been taught/ learnt gives me enough knowledge to lead a just life.

Buddhism’s basic teachings for me have been equality and compassion. The teaching of the religion has made me a person who values the right for life of all living beings, from the ant to the human to the biggest living being on earth. To me my religion isn’t a thing to worship upon or anything to be carried on my shoulders and raised to “greatness.” It is simply only a “bridge” which leads me to be a selfless, compassionate human being.

What more my religion has taught me is, regardless of a person’s religion, race, caste, complexion or social status to  treat all as just humans. To make relationships with people religion or social status was and is never an obstacle to me, I don’t see it as a point to even consider. Buddhism has taught me to respect all religions and beliefs. In my opinion, simply, if a certain other belief or a religion leads a person to a good life, well that’s all what is needed. My religion does not force anything on me. I am not obliged to follow whatever is being taught. It gives me absolute freedom to question the teachings and choose whether I am going to follow a right path to live a right life. But, it always show the consequences of leading a positive or a negative life. And it’s solely my call to choose whether I want to experience negative or positive consequences.

I don’t have a particular “God figure” to worship and rely on, but neither have I been denied the access to other religious figures when I need a reliable thing/person. The greatest thing Buddhism has taught me is to respect all good things, be it a teaching or a person. After all, any God is a good God!

Nimna Wickramasinghe is a  20 year old Sinhalese, who is also a Theravada Buddhist. Her special interest is on Fashion, and she follows a course in Art and Design.

 

God has given us the choice to choose between the Good and the Bad.

Everyone around us have different thoughts and perspectives in what their religion means to them. Theologically a Christian is someone who has received the Lord Jesus Christ as Saviour, trusts him alone for forgiveness of sins, repents from his/her own sins and being a renewed person in front of God.

I was born into a Christian family and from the day I started speaking I was involved in my Church Sunday School activities and other groups that follows the process. I’ve been taught to read my Bible, pray everyday and live my life according to the Bible. So for me, my religion meant a way of life in which you are trying to live your life like Jesus following his steps.

But as I was growing up, I was exposed to many of the worldly things, common beliefs of others and other religions then I realised being a Christian does not necessarily mean trying to be perfect or to go to Church every Sunday, sing songs and praises and reading your bible everyday. I also realised that some of my beliefs contradicted the common beliefs of  other Christians.
So I started questioning myself on whether I am a good Christian or am I just going through a rebellious phase or whether I was under the influence of Satan turning away from my God. But as I turned 18 everything became clear to me.

I realised Christianity was all about love and forgiveness. I realised how much my God loved me that he sent his only son to die on the cross for my sins. I realised being a Christian means not following exactly what the Bible says but taking the guidelines from the bible to choose between the right and wrong because God has given us the choice to choose between the good and the bad. It’s about loving others selflessly as much as you love yourself. It’s about forgiving each other and learning to not hold grudges or to take revenge. Its about finding the purpose of your life  and finding your role in making this world a better place filled with love. So at the age of 18, I chose to be a Christian with the Bible as my guiding light and Jesus Christ as my Saviour and protector.

So for me Christianity is all about Love. As I understood this, I also realised  that the base of all the other religions was also Love. With this new found knowledge I developed a respect towards all the other religions around me because in the end being a Christian also means respecting others and accepting them for who they are without judging, just as God also accepted us for who we are even with all our sins.

Ruth Aruni Aloysius is a 20 year old Sri Lankan Tamil Christian, who is a student and a volunteer dedicated to serve her community.

I found Hope through Islam…

I would like to start off with what Islam is NOT to me. Islam is not terrorism and bloodshed like some of the world sees. It is not a teaching that promotes rape, oppression, extremism or killing of innocent human beings, but, to me, it is the best way of life!

As I type this, my eyes are filled with tears. I am blessed to be a Muslim and to have discovered the beauty of Islam, Alhamdulillah (all praise is to Allah). Everybody has a turning point in their life where one has to struggle to be stronger and I, had such a turning point too…

I remember, about two and a half years ago, sitting on the prayer mat, in my dark room; while everyone else at home were asleep, my eyes were exhausted with pouring tears. As my muscles tightened, the only word I remember uttering was, “Allah….” Those were the darkest days I’ve ever faced. I had no hope other than crying out to my Rabb (Lord) and having faith that no matter how lost and hopeless it all seemed, there would be something great in store for me…

It is strange how much the love of my Maker, filled my heart with peace. I started to realize that no matter who hurt me, there was something and someone I could always rely on; Islam, which gave me hope, and Allah, Who never abandoned me. It is when I was tested that I felt drawn towards Allah, and through this, I believe, I discovered my strengths which I once thought were my weaknesses.

Islam is not just about fasting a month and praying five times a day; it is a connection with Allah that is to be nourished every day. If I were to describe it in a different way, I would say, just as how water fulfills thirst, Islam is like a daily energy giver fulfilling all what I need! It teaches me to worship Allah in every aspect, and this gives me hope that I can fulfill the purpose Allah has created me for. I learnt to expect less from others and to do whatever I was doing for Him alone. The hijab and abaya I wear turned out to be my armour,(yes, I’d like to call it that way) protecting me from the eyes of tempted men. It also teaches me simplicity, that I am a slave to my Lord and that I dress to impress Him alone!  It is also my automatic alarm system that constantly reminds me to not develop pride because, if I am blessed with something, the credits and praise are to Him alone!

Islam to me is the best form through which I can fulfill all my passions! I am reminded through the life of my Prophet Muhammadh that I could pray for others in their difficulty, even when we are too far away to reach out to those in need. It has given me motivation that I need not be powerful or rich to do great things, but even the simplest things matter if my intentions are pure. Islam means so much to me that it will always (at least I try hard) be my first priority! I could go on with the list, and I am very sure I will regret not adding in further!

For those of you, who do not know, today I am who I am only because of Islam and all praise is to Allah alone!

 “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.”
(Qur’an 13: 28)

And I pray, that whoever is reading this will find more peace than I did!

May Allah guide you all! Aameen.

Fathima Sajla Anees is a 20 year old Sri Lankan Moor Muslim. She is a first year law student at Sri Lanka Law College, but she is also passionate in special needs teaching and Psychological counselling.

I feel this is why many of us seem to connect to our Religion…

I’m honestly not sure about what my religion has meant to me at this moment, as I am currently going through a phase of change in my life. Religion at times has been a form some, to understand or explain the unexplainable happening around them. It has been an anchor that prevents people from drifting away from their morals and values. In a sense it can be religion that makes us human.

I was brought up under a strong Catholic background. From strong influences of my father being one of the more active persons in church thought my childhood, right through my education in one of Sri Lanka’s leading Catholic schools. From altar boy, to choir boy to celebrating masses in the Vatican and audiences with the pope – I’ve gone from pilgrimages and prayer meetings to reciting the rosary at home. But my life has hasn’t only just been about prayers and visits to the church. I like to think that I’ve been blessed with a strong curiosity to question many of the things in life and society.

I’ve been lucky to have come across people from different parts of the world many of which are from the South Asian region, where People with different casts, ages, cultures, beliefs and ways of thinking exist. My interests in the political science have brought me new perspectives on social behavior. Most interesting of which is ‘Liberal thinking’. I feel that this worldview founded on ideas of liberty and equality has seemed so promising to many of our youth today (be it in different variations of the idea).

I’ve often heard people say that “when I have a child, I’m gonna let him or her choose his/her religion, his beliefs and what he wants to be”. As noble and brave as it sounds, I’ve felt that such a thought, would seem silly. You can never live a life void of any influences. The people who live around you – their beliefs, their likes, their cultures, and their biasness will eventually rub off on you at some given point.

One thing I do believe in, however, is that we all yearn to do be good. What is ‘good’ on the other hand is again subjective. We all simply don’t have the time or the will power to really put into thought, on what really is ‘right or wrong’ or ‘good or bad’, which is why many of us turn to religion for salvation or for answers. Religion gives us the answers and the reasons. These answers have gone through decades of refinement. I feel that this is why the prominent religions have a strong core or a base. Religion provides us with purpose and reason.

I’ve also heard of those who advocate the core philosophies of most religions to being equal or of living in harmony. To me such views and beliefs have stem from ‘Omnism’, Religious pluralism and my favorite, Universalism. I personally feel that such views on religion are views that simply sound ‘nice’ rather than be reflection of the reality. The fact that some religions are Sectarian proves to be a point to consider.

As for Catholicism, I feel that there is still much that I should know about my own religion in order for me to have a clear understanding on it for me make a proper statement about it. And I feel it is the same for many of us who have our own views on our religion. If we really think about it, we are all prone to change. Of all things, the way we think changes the most. Whilst our religions tends to be less prone to sudden changes as we are.

The author wishes to remain anonymous. He is a 22 year old Sri Lankan, and a born Roman Catholic. He is a Sinhalese, who also believes that he is part of the Human race.

Religion is a Terrible and a Beautiful thing

Religion is a terrible and a beautiful thing.

It gives you a foundation about what is right and wrong, but at the same time it boxes you in. It can define your identity, and at the same time it can suppress your personality.

Everyone’s perception of religion is different. Some like to be spoon fed what was taught by religious leaders, religious institutions, their parents or peers. It is very rarely people tend to think outside the box; the idea has been formulated in their mind that ‘what is familiar is the only virtuous thing’. But at the same time there are some who question what is right, what is wrong and if there is only ‘one true religion’ in this world.

I’ve never been a fan of worshiping things or obeying orders without understanding first, the principles behind it. You can probably understand my stand on religion by that single sentence. Freedom to think for myself, freedom to express myself is important to me. To elaborate you could say that blind faith is not my idea of religion.

So what do I love about religion? Well the best thing for me are the stories; stories full of life lessons. Mesmerizing stories about people who lived in lust, love, passion and also people who lived virtuously, and how they either ruined their lives or prospered through the introduction of religion to their lives.

From Moses who went through the parted red sea; saving his followers from death, to Buddha who tamed Angulimala; the man who cut off the fingers of the people he killed, to a woman who cut off her curtains to drape around her body in filial piety to Allah; so her body would be safe from the lecherous looks of men, to Rama who crossed an ocean to save his beloved Sita from the cunning Ravana; which gave birth to the Deepavali festival; all sorts of religions offer beautiful and terrible stories. To see the repetition of human mistakes, human adaptability, human humility as well as extreme pride that refrains them changing themselves for the better, makes you understand how the world has always worked.

I don’t believe that there is only one true religion. Most religions basically guide you as to how to live as a decent human being. For me personally, reincarnation nor heavens nor a perdition don’t matter. I will live the life that has been given to me now, as a good human being.

Layanvi Tennakoon (21) is a Sinhalese Buddhist from Kandy, Sri Lanka. She works as a part-time invigilator, and she is also a student. Most of all, she is a free-thinking woman.